Listening to Muse lately, this song seemed to be a logical one to look at. It's a wonderful song, yet if you listen to it as more than just a person offering to help you, it can transform how you hear it. Instead, listen to this as prophecy - that the protection is from God. The song then tells another story. The scripture is going to come from Isaiah, John, and Psalms. And here is the music for today!
The song is about following and having faith. It is about finding strength and emerging from the darkness. You can get a feeling from John 8:12 about emerging from the darkness to follow the light.
"Then spake Jesus again unto them, saying, I am the light of the world: he that followeth me shall not walk in darkness, but shall have the light of life"
This is a pretty powerful statement to put out there. This song helps to be a reminder that we yearn to be protected from the things we cannot protect ourselves from. It is an offer of safety.
"Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness."
This is about recognizing our own weaknesses and putting trust that God will take care of us. That we will not be deserted. We will not be forgotten. When we are afraid, we can seek refuge in The Lord. Psalms 56:3 reminds us of this, with the words
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee."
When you're scared, when you fall down, when these things happen you can still be brave. Follow and trust in the Lord and you will be safe. When all your strength is gone, you will still be taken care of. Just follow. All that is asked is that you follow and you will be saved from the darkness, saved from being alone. This is a covenant - a promise that by putting your trust in the almighty, you will be protected. You will be saved. What more could you ask for? If you weren't sure before, try listening to the song again, and see if you hear it differently than you did before. I find it fascinating how new ideas can be attached to something and give it new meaning. Well, that's the music for today! If you have any requests, I'm willing to give anything a try.
For my second entry into my Music & The Bible series, I've decided to go with "Dust in the Wind" by Kansas. The scriptural reference I'll be using with the song is from Genesis. Not the band, though I may now have to find a verse from Genesis to use with a song by Genesis...but I digress. The music!
So, here we are. All we are is dust in the wind. In Genesis 3:19, we are reminded of this with the words
In the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread, till thou return unto the ground; for out of it wast thou taken: for dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return.
Because we came from dust, we shall return to dust. And in that sense, all things that came from the Earth shall return to the Earth. Whatever money you have, whatever power you have, it can do nothing to stop the inevitable return to the Earth. Everything is dust in the wind.
But can't we walk away with something more? This is also a reminder that our time is precious. We cannot buy more time. We can't use power to stave off the inevitable. We must simply live the best we can. Now, if you read my last post, you'd also know that all things pass away. But don't distress, because death too will pass. Though it may be a certainty that we die, we will also live again. It is that our life here is destined to return to the dust from which we came. The body that is born of this world will die in this world. It is the spirit that lives on.
Don't fret about wealth, power, fame, glory - those things will also someday be dust, forgotten by time. Our bodies may just be waiting to return to dust, but our souls live on. This is our eternal grace, and it is this finite existence here that this song reminds us of. An important message to take from all of this is that we need to do the most with what we have - because we won't always have it.
I decided to start out my "Music & The Bible" series with a song that has been on my mind lately. The song is "All Things Must Pass" by George Harrison, off of the album with the same name. The scriptural references I'll be using will be from Matthew & Revelation. Now, for the music!
So, I'm going to be using the King James Version for a lot of these, not because it's my favorite, but because the wording is often more poetic, and is more common to find phrases from it than other versions. Matthew 24:6 states
"And ye shall hear of wars and rumours of wars: see that ye be not troubled: for all these things must come to pass, but the end is not yet."
We also have the passing of death itself in Revelation 21:4 with
"And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away."
I've been thinking a lot about such things, and the song itself is a masterpiece in letting us know that things will get better. We just have to get past the tough times. Through Matthew we learn that it is not the end - but that these things must come to pass. Like all things in life, they will pass.
This is an idea of the negative things passing away. That bad things will happen, but they will pass away so that good can return. This thought is a strong one, that if we are patient, and have faith, all our troubles will pass away. Even fear of death itself will come to pass. We must push on. I like to listen to this song and remember that no matter what happens, the hardships we face will fade away. Things won't always be this grey. The darkness only stays the night-time. We can take this message, and remember the daylight will return. Even in our darkest hour, we can have faith that we will be returned to the light. No matter how bad things get, they cannot stay bad - for all things must pass away.
Well, I don't know why I haven't written much lately. Writer's block? Who knows. I haven't been sleeping well, and work has had me stressed. Warcraft has been a nice escape. I've been running a farm. It's almost like my Warlock got old and retired. Not yet.
Well, I've been watching a lot of anime. Some good, some so-so. They are about to start me on new drugs. And might change my sleeping meds. Allergies have been making things worse.
I am in need of Christmas cheer. It doesn't feel like Christmas. My faith is at a low point. In short, things generally suck. Maybe it has been this craptastic year. Maybe it is insomnia. Whatever it is, it is a freaking pain in the ass.
I'm sure I'll either get happy or fake it for the holiday season. I just wish I really felt that Christmas wonder. Instead I'm just trying to cope with life.
I'm writing this to myself, so if you are one of the few readers of my work, you can choose to stop now. I won't blame you.
Christmas had become a source of stress. What to get people, planning where to go, decorating, what to bring. Then it's gone, and it is back to business as usual.
This is just a rant. This hasn't been a good year, and next year doesn't look any better. I don't know where God and I stand at this time. I don't know where I stand with anything. I need a sign. Something to say it will be ok. Well, I have to do something to change things.
Here is the plan. I keep busy, so busy I don't have time to think. Maybe when I'm done, things will be better. If all else, I did a bunch of shit. Better to be a productive sad sack of crap than a lazy one. Maybe I'll get some sort of sense of accomplishment. Who knows.
Right now, I feel like this is just another day, another month, another year. Maybe I'll find purpose. Or at least something to do. Out.
I would like to open with a song that shows how my brain works.
Much like these songs all mash up to make one song, my thoughts often run together into one stream that may not always make sense to anyone but me. The worst is when I'm trying to sleep.
Insomnia is one of the worst things I've ever had to deal with. Especially since that train of thought that runs through my head at 300 miles per hour doesn't stop for sleep. It is actually enhanced when I try to sleep, because I have nothing to focus on. They say I should try reading. I read through Genesis and Exodus before I decided it was time to put it down and try something else. I've read entire books in a night. Now, audio books are another matter. I can listen to them and I have to focus, but can do so with my eyes closed. But I got myself distracted. That happens a lot too. Not that I lost track of my original thought, I just had 8 others that wanted my attention.
Insomnia. It is not fun. It is not anything I would wish on anyone. Here is the problem. I can't sleep when I need to sleep. Then I fall asleep with about 5-6 hours of available time to sleep. This sleep doesn't make me feel rested. It is just sleep. Then I wake up, and it is terribly hard to wake up because I feel like I should sleep more. But I can't. I can't. I have to get up and work or do things when people are awake. And it is hard, my brain recovers quickly and is on the go again, but my body begins to have troubles. Then my thoughts get more sporadic. Then I crash, sleep for a long time, and then I'm ready to go again for a while. I keep trying to adjust my sleep cycle, but that hasn't worked. It's like I'm running in circles. I don't get anywhere but back where I started.
I've been told the insomnia is part of the bipolar deal. I'd believe that. As I've gotten older, I've had more trouble with it. I guess when I was young, I could deal with having a few hours of sleep better than I can now. Now it just causes me to be tired all the time, and it is harder to think. I actually just got lost in that last sentence. I will say, the last two posts I've made were from my phone. I'm actually sitting down at my computer to type this. It is easier. I can get out more faster. My brain just flows out of my fingers like it is nothing at all. I'm glad I learned how to type. It would be painful to try to get this out if I had to peck at the keyboard.
So, here I am, about to try to sleep, already worried that I'll just end up spending another night waiting for my brain to finally wear out so I can sleep. Waiting is hard. I think when the lights go out. I ask questions that have no answers. Why am I here? Why has there been 2000 years of silence from God? What happens when we die? Am I just part of someone's dream? See, this is the crap I have running through my head. That and blueprints for anything I could ever think of.
Really, I'm just ranting today. I think it's because I'm nearing the cusp of sleeplessness. This is a point where I break and sleep a lot or my mind hits the reset button and I spend a day with thoughts blasting at triple speed, and then it calms down. We'll see which one it is this time.
Oh, and for the record, I've tried almost every sleep aid I can think of. So far, no luck. They did make me a God in guitar hero. OK, not quite that good, but I played really well. I think it was one of the only times I excelled on expert. Why was I playing guitar hero on sleep meds? Because after 2 hours of nothing, I was stir crazy. I got up, decided to play a few songs, and then did really well. I'm not sure what the next step is. Maybe it's acceptance? Or maybe I finally find that magic little ritual that lulls my body into a deep, relaxing sleep. Well, I'll see you next time. Wait...I can't see you. You can't see me...oh, you know what I mean. I'm over thinking this again.
I'm trying to decide if I need a new blog, or if I should repurpose this one. Here is the thing- I want to talk more about my thoughts and feelings on current events and spiritual matters. My brain it's very random, and I did enjoy writing my random thoughts. Now, however I would like to focus those a little.
Maybe it is still random. I don't know if I can stick to one topic for long. I do want to thank those that read my writing yesterday. I feel like I've found something I'd forgotten.
With that, I have a plan. Here, in this blog, I will let my randomness continue, and include thoughts on current events. I will post more in depth as a Yahoo! contributor. Sound good? Good.
I am saving a few things for now. It is not the time yet. They will still be in my head. I do want to talk about mental illness. I'm going there because I live it every day. It is a part of my world and I can't change that.
What I'd like to talk about is the reluctance to talk. I know it can be difficult to talk about, I'm having trouble talking now. But I feel it needs to be addressed. For those that don't know, I'm bipolar. I suffered for over a decade without treatment. This doesn't mean that I didn't have good times. It doesn't mean I didn't have friends. It just means that I wasn't always in control. That is the scariest thing in the world. For the record, I'm now in control if it, instead of it being in control of me. Those times where I wasn't in control haunt me to this day.
I've heard people say that if you are depressed, you just need to try harder at being happy. It doesn't work like that. I want to talk about what it was like- just a little. I hurt myself, emotionally and physically. I hurt others emotionally, and in rare occasion, physically. I look back and see someone else controlling my body, but deep down, I know it was just the darkest part of me. People knew something was wrong, but I had convinced them I would fool any doctor if they tried to fix me. I convinced myself that it was just who I was. I was wrong. And there weren't tools available for friends and family to learn more or figure out how to get me help. There was just me, trying to stay sane. I will leave out a lot at this point, and let people ask questions. I'm happy to answer. But I want to say that there is always help available, and if you think someone needs that help, do whatever you can to get them help. I have seen the edge, and it haunts me to this day.
We hear about people doing terrible things, and afterwards people talk about all the warning signs. They say he kept to himself. She didn't have many friends. He would just snap and get angry for no reason. She talked about how no one would care if she were gone. They cried out for help, but no one knew what to do. Read up. Talk to a professional if you know someone that needs help. Learn to look for warning signs. We have to look out for each other. We have to keep people from going over the edge. I have the scars to remind me of what I was, and now I have a family that reminds me of who I am, and who I can be. Be the hand that reaches out. Thank you for listening. I'll be discussing this more later, including how religion has played a role in my healing. But for now, please, look after each other. It is what we have each other for.
